Motivation, or a lack thereof

Right now, I should be learning my understudy lines for Saturday (ok, if we’re going to be picky, I should really be working. It’s a slow day, though.) One of the other girls in the cast – the one who plays 4-5 small parts in the play – is going to be out of town for the last night of the show, so I’m taking her second-act roles, while “Margaret” takes her first-act ones. It’s nice since, for one night, I will spend four times my usual amount of time on stage AND do some swordfighting. But, on the other hand, I have to actually learn her lines.

Sadly, though, my lack of motivation is winning out over line-learning right now. This seems to be a constant problem in most areas of my life: I have trouble motivating myself to do pretty much anything (other than, perhaps, to knit or go running). And while this problem has bothered me for a while now, I’m starting to worry that it will be a big issue for my grad school plans. That list I made of things to do this summer to prepare for school? So far, it has been more or less neglected. And it’s not just the preparation part that’s problematic – without some power of self-motivation, school itself is going to be pretty tricky.

Which is part of why I’m writing here. I’m hoping that if I can motivate myself to write for a few days, it will become habit. My daily run started this way, and now I don’t feel quite right if I skip it (I’m now at the point where, when invited to a happy hour, I have to convince myself it’s ok not to run for a night). And, I figure, if I can start a blogging habit, I can probably start a paper-writing habit when the time comes… right?



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